Sometimes I wonder if I have the word “invitation” written across my forehead when I travel alone. Whether it’s looks of pity or desire, I can’t help but always feel eyes on my back when I am by myself at airports. The situation is already uncomfortable: security is intimidating, keeping track of luggage is burdensome and monitoring time is stressful. It doesn’t help that there are many strangers around and that as a woman, I was raised never to trust anyone in public.

These are the sort of issues young women don’t realize are real until we face the rude awakening of living alone for the first time at college. The call to reality feels as though the things we were warned of when we were little become conceivable, unlocking an array of new fears and anxieties. So when it comes to a situation like traveling alone from college during school breaks, it is only natural that these fears and anxieties are amplified.

Airport anxiety is indeed a common experience for many travelers, however, many elements add up to make this feeling even worse for college-aged girls — starting with the presence of unknown men. As a woman, there is an intuitive awareness that switches on when there are a lot of men around, a result of society’s tendency to teach girls to be alert, instead of teaching boys to be respectful of a girl’s space.

The combination of alertness and the pressures of airport anxiety can make even the slightest interaction with any man at an airport a triggering experience. Syracuse University freshman Abigail Long, who travels from Syracuse Hancock International Airport to her hometown in Minnesota every break, explained her uneasiness when men move her bags without asking.

“I don’t like it when men try to help me carry my bags because I don’t like them close to me and touching my stuff,” Long said. “It is a bit diminishing to assume that I can’t do it myself; I feel like I am capable of asking (for help) if I need it.”

Not only is this an issue about respecting a young woman’s space and belongings, but it is also an issue of concluding that she is physically incapable of doing it herself. It is the classic labeling of women as vulnerable and fragile. The typical male response would suggest that it is only a sign of chivalry, but how can chivalry exist when, given the antecedent, our trust in men is dead?

It is discriminatory to shame a woman for wanting to handle her personal belongings at an airport without male help under the justification of chivalry. Especially when help is unwanted or unnecessary.

Likewise, the unpleasant weight of unwarranted stares makes traveling as a college girl distressing. Sometimes it seems like there is something so unreasonably attractive to men about a young woman by herself waiting for her flight and it is nothing but creepy. Freshman Isabella Chavez said she is self-conscious when she feels men looking at her at airports.

“I get uncomfortable when old men, or just men, are staring. I try not to sit in front of them or next to them,” Chavez said. “When I do sit next to them, I have to be (aware of) my space, trying not to touch their armrest or direct my view because it makes me uncomfortable.”

But it goes farther than feeling anxious with interactions or the looks of strangers at airports; it is also the mindset we as women grew up with to be aware of ourselves not to cause a disturbance to others. In other words, to be small in the big places.

This idea applies to the airport experience in habitual actions even I have caught myself doing, such as apologizing when someone bumps into me or untying my shoes before I reach security to go as fast as possible. Or worst of all, moving to the side when someone is walking in my way.

Freshman Morgan Meddings said she noticed this mentality on her last trip for spring break.

“I was raised with an awareness not to take up too much space or time,” Meddings said. “You have to be very efficient and aware of your actions, and it goes beyond watching out, so your things don’t get stolen; it’s about not wanting to be on the way.”

If there was a word that could describe how traveling alone feels for young women, it would have to be “frustrating,” and I am sick of feeling that way. So, to all college girls traveling alone: don’t apologize, don’t move out of the way, say no if you don’t want or need help, establish your rightful space and if someone stares, call up TSA — they’re typically friendly.

Karla Perez is a freshman magazine, news and digital journalism major. Her column appears biweekly. She can be reached at ksperezd@syr.edu.

Published on March 21, 2022 at 10:14 pm