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Sex & Health

Silvarole: Cuddlr’s goal of innocent relationships unlikely to succeed

If you’re DTC, there’s a new app for you. Just as long as you’re DTF as well, because there’s basically no hope for a platonic cuddle-session with nearby strangers.

Cuddlr, an app which has seen a burst in popularity recently, connects two users and gives them walking directions to meet up. The app was created by Charlie Williams, developer of music-identification app Shazam. The FAQ section of the app’s website defines it as “a way of finding people near you who are up for a cuddle, without any pressure or expectation.”

So, is it just me, or is it super weird to cuddle with complete strangers? Shouldn’t cuddling be saved for people you actually know?

Cuddlr is similar to popular social dating app Tinder in the sense that it relies on location and a “hot or not” feature in order to match two users. Other apps like Grindr and Down (formerly Bang With Friends) offer similar features, but are sexually motivated. Cuddlr is apparently supposed to eliminate the sexual component driving those apps and replace it with a “gentle, no-pressure intimacy” kind of communication.

The app does have an up-vote and down-vote feature, which gives users the opportunity to recommend good cuddlers over the bad — more like creepy — ones. I have a hard time seeing how that can give anyone an accurate description of how normal or not normal a total stranger is before you choose to give them your location and agree to let them touch you in a nonsexual way.



Several journalists and bloggers who’ve used the app claim that since its debut on Sept. 5, Cuddlr’s PG purposes have failed. Caitlin Dewey of the Washington Post found she received more cuddle requests after 11 p.m. and saw a serious lack of females on the app. All of the guys she messaged for her story either asked for more photos, said they were in bed or both.

“Americans simply aren’t conditioned to think of something as physically intimate as ‘cuddling’ in a non-sexual or non-romantic way,” Dewey wrote in her column.

If you’re choosing to cuddle with someone on a “like/dislike” basis, doesn’t that already lay the groundwork for a relationship based on sexual attraction? By saying, “yes, this person is attractive, and I wouldn’t mind if they touched me,” you would essentially be agreeing to the same choices Tinder and Grindr present.

There are nothing but good intentions behind Cuddlr’s mission. Hugs and other types of positive physical contact release lots of wonderful hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, lower cortisol levels and help people cope with stress and anxiety, according to an article on breakingmuscle.com. Cuddlr is right in its belief that our society stresses sexual relationships, especially at the college level, and that there isn’t enough emphasis on close but genuinely innocent contact.

Cuddlr is a great idea in theory, but it’s likely going to be abused more often than not. This kind of intimate but casual connection really shouldn’t necessitate using an app.

The best alternative here is to make human connections elsewhere. Get off of your phone and strike up a conversation with someone behind you in the checkout line, with the guy sitting next to you in the library or with that girl whose shoes you love. Don’t rely on an app to make your friendships for you when you’re perfectly capable of saying, “hello” on your own.

Georgie Silvarole is a sophomore newspaper and online journalism major. Her column appears weekly. You can reach her at gmsilvar@syr.edu or on Twitter at @gsilvarole.





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